Survival Guide for the 40-Something
Love & Life

Reinventing Yourself After 40!


Forty years into this life and I was miserable! I hated where I was in life.  I had dedicated all my time and efforts to raising my daughters as a single mother, completely forgetting about myself. I was in a dead end job with no benefits and no future. Hadn’t met anyone in the dating world I felt a connection with either. I felt like I was slowly being suffocated.

My biggest fear was waking up in my 70’s and thinking …is this it?

I would wake up everyday, 10 minutes before my alarm would go off with the worst anxiety attacks imaginable.

Do you know what went through my head every single morning?

I’m a 45 years old woman and mother who has not done a single thing she loved. Not one dream fulfilled..nothing!

I had to make a change soon, and it had to start with how I saw myself in the future.


These are the steps I took to reinventing myself:


Changed my mindset

One of the most important steps I took to change my life was to change the way I think. “The way you envision your life, is how your life will be.” I was just seeing the mess I was in at the moment which clouded the endless possibilities that could be my future.  I started thinking more positively, I started saying to myself I can do this. I made a mental list of everything I was thankful for and everything I wanted in my life and I would say it out loud.


Make a list

I’m not a list maker, never have been. But during the process to change my life,  I saw the importance of making a list. I made a list of everything that was important to me. I made a list of what I wanted out of my life. I made a list of all the different careers  I was interested in. I made a list of all the traits I needed in my perfect partner too. The importance of making these list is to be able to go over them and read them out loud and envision these things in your present life. Don’t be afraid to cross out or add things to the list.

“Life is about growing and changing, so many of the things we might think are important now can simply become unimportant once we grow.” ~Victoria Alicea


Change your surroundings

If you stay in the same place and don’t make an effort to get out of your comfort zone then that’s where you will stay. I made an effort to go to events that would force me meet new people and learn new things. By doing this I realized that there are so many options in life and wonderful people who can help push you in the right direction.


Find your new tribe

” Your friends  can either lead you to your destruction or your success.”

For some of us breaking ties with friends is a hard thing to do, but you have to think to yourself, are these people really my friends? Do these so called friends enrich my life in someway?

In this day an age it’s hard to distinguish the true meaning of friendship. My Facebook says I have 400 friends…do I really?  Of course not! During my journey towards change, I decided to surround myself with those who had the same mind set as I did. I walked away from people who did not believe in me or always found a way to discourage me of my dreams. It wasn’t easy to let go of some of these people but living without the negativity was the way to go.


Just do it

Taking the leap is one of the hardest things to do, trust me I know. When I was first offered the opportunity to blog I was terrified of failure. I had no idea how to write a blog and what would I possibly write about?  I kept at it, learning from my mistakes and finding my voice. From there so many other doors opened in the direction of  all of the dreams I had written on my list. That’s when I knew I was on the journey I was meant to be on. That the changes and challenges were all part of the process of growing into a new me.


I would’ve of never imagined in a million years that I was capable of doing so many things in this stage in my life. I never felt so alive and hopeful for my future. It’s never to late to reinvent yourself and do what you love even in your forties.


XOXO Victoria 





Author: Victoria Alicea


Join the discussion

  1. Ness

    Love that you are creating the life you want!

  2. Gina Dionne

    I didn’t even realize that you had gotten married! Congratulations! I figured it would happen. But, I didn’t know it had.
    You’re so lucky. You have everything you dreamed of. Does he have a single brother? Haha No really. I’m serious.


    • Victoria Alicea

      Thanks! I’m very grateful for all the things that have happened this past year. We need to talk soon, maybe I can share some tips on how I made it happen.. 🙂

  3. Gina Dionne

    You’re such an inspiration. I wish I could do what you did. I’m going to try. I remember when you were miserable here in Oviedo. I’m so glad that you found meaning, happiness and love. I miss our chats, Sunday brunch.
    You’ve come a long way, Victoria. You’re a great blogger. Miss you and love you.


  4. Brooke Alicea

    Wow, very inspiring! 39, 4 daughters and I feel exactly the way you did. Now, time to start that list. Thank you for sharing.

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