Forty years into this life and I was miserable! I hated where I was in life. I had dedicated all my time and efforts to raising my daughters as a single mother, completely forgetting about myself. I was in a dead end job with no benefits and no future. Hadn’t met anyone in the dating world I felt a connection with either. I felt like I was slowly being suffocated.
My biggest fear was waking up in my 70’s and thinking …is this it?
I would wake up everyday, 10 minutes before my alarm would go off with the worst anxiety attacks imaginable.
Do you know what went through my head every single morning?
I’m a 45 years old woman and mother who has not done a single thing she loved. Not one dream fulfilled..nothing!
I had to make a change soon, and it had to start with how I saw myself in the future.
These are the steps I took to reinventing myself:
Changed my mindset
One of the most important steps I took to change my life was to change the way I think. “The way you envision your life, is how your life will be.” I was just seeing the mess I was in at the moment which clouded the endless possibilities that could be my future. I started thinking more positively, I started saying to myself I can do this. I made a mental list of everything I was thankful for and everything I wanted in my life and I would say it out loud.
Make a list
I’m not a list maker, never have been. But during the process to change my life, I saw the importance of making a list. I made a list of everything that was important to me. I made a list of what I wanted out of my life. I made a list of all the different careers I was interested in. I made a list of all the traits I needed in my perfect partner too. The importance of making these list is to be able to go over them and read them out loud and envision these things in your present life. Don’t be afraid to cross out or add things to the list.
“Life is about growing and changing, so many of the things we might think are important now can simply become unimportant once we grow.” ~Victoria Alicea
Change your surroundings
If you stay in the same place and don’t make an effort to get out of your comfort zone then that’s where you will stay. I made an effort to go to events that would force me meet new people and learn new things. By doing this I realized that there are so many options in life and wonderful people who can help push you in the right direction.
Find your new tribe
” Your friends can either lead you to your destruction or your success.”
For some of us breaking ties with friends is a hard thing to do, but you have to think to yourself, are these people really my friends? Do these so called friends enrich my life in someway?
In this day an age it’s hard to distinguish the true meaning of friendship. My Facebook says I have 400 friends…do I really? Of course not! During my journey towards change, I decided to surround myself with those who had the same mind set as I did. I walked away from people who did not believe in me or always found a way to discourage me of my dreams. It wasn’t easy to let go of some of these people but living without the negativity was the way to go.
Just do it
Taking the leap is one of the hardest things to do, trust me I know. When I was first offered the opportunity to blog I was terrified of failure. I had no idea how to write a blog and what would I possibly write about? I kept at it, learning from my mistakes and finding my voice. From there so many other doors opened in the direction of all of the dreams I had written on my list. That’s when I knew I was on the journey I was meant to be on. That the changes and challenges were all part of the process of growing into a new me.
I would’ve of never imagined in a million years that I was capable of doing so many things in this stage in my life. I never felt so alive and hopeful for my future. It’s never to late to reinvent yourself and do what you love even in your forties.