Anyone who is in a blended family knows that with all the joy of uniting to families there is also a lot of drama and headaches. It’s even harder when the kids are a bit older and use to your rules and are not to keen on the idea of new family rules, hence the topic of my blog today.
My youngest daughter has always been into gaming since she was very young. I never had a problem with her balancing school, normal day-to-day stuff and her video games until now. Now that she is sixteen she was always in her room, playing games till really late at night and never wanting to take part in anything.
When my stepson would come over same thing would happen. I would never see either of them all night unless it was time for dinner. It was getting quite annoying that I know I was feeding these kids but they could never give me the time of day. Not only was their lack of motivation and participation as a family was suffering but also their grades. So we decided to eliminate video games and phones from Monday to Thursday. I also had to take the phones away because I have conversations with people’s faces not the top of their heads.
Well, the first two weeks of this was a total shit show!
OMG, these kids complained and had massive crying fits because they couldn’t understand why we would punish them so. We weren’t punishing them per say…well maybe my kid yeah! The lunatic was failing two classes for heaven sakes! Let me remind you, I’m a Puerto Rican mom, when I grabbed her gaming systems after finding out her grades dropped, I imagined myself running them over with the lawn mower!
Just like this guy!
It took every fiber of my being and maybe a bottle of wine to stop myself from becoming Glen Ellyn’s own Crazy Mower Mom!
So now that the kids have settled into this new rule we became a little more relaxed with where we kept their phones during the week. At first we would take the phones,
IPads and Chrome books into our bedroom at night, but that got old quick. I would have to get up at 6am just to run my kids stuff down to her every morning. Did I mention I’m not a morning person? I’m NOT!
After several weeks had passed, my husband was having his suspicions that one or both of the kids were sneaking into the kitchen to get their electronics. He thought it was definitely my kid.
Here is when the blended family drama starts to happen…
What my kid?
Please why would she do that?
She knows I will kill her!
You know I think it could be your kid… I trust my kid!
Who am I kidding? I don’t trust her as far as I can throw her but hey he can’t know that!
I mean we all know our kids can be little shits, but who wants to admit it to the other parents,, UM NO NEVER!
So last week, my husband decides to stay up one night on his favorite chair in the living room. As usual the kids went to bed at 10pm. They had no idea that he had decided to be in the living room so late. So guess whose kid decides to be sneaking and get their phone and iPad?
My Kid… What?????
Crap! Crap! Crap!
I can still see his …I told ya so face!
Of course I had to I play it off as…. Wow really, she’s never done anything like this before…omg I’m shocked.
“I honestly can’t tell you, if I was mad that she would lie to us and be sneaky or that she was dumb enough to get caught and make me look bad..lol!”
Next day when I picked her up from school, I let her have it all right!
- How could you do such a thing?
- How could you betray our trust!
- You’re lucky I don’t take them away permanently!
Her excuse was ..“Mom I couldn’t sleep and I didn’t see him in the living room so I grabbed my stuff.. I’m sorry. “
“I’m thinking sorry my ass! Geez kid couldn’t you get creative and like fake sleep walk or something? HAHA”
So the lesson here is kids will be kids and they will do all the wrong things even though we might not want to think they would. In a blended family sometimes our kids non favorable attributes are told to us more often than we would like to know, and that can be irritating but it goes with the territory. Let’s face it kids act differently when the parents are not around! They always try to push as far as they can go especially when it comes to step parents …or step parents like me who always strives to be the best 2nd Mom ever!
So instead of always taking your child side, you should respect your partner and listen to their side of the story too. Having a blended family is not easy..well mine actually is but we just happen to be the lucky ones.
What’s your blended family story? I’d love to hear from you!